Mission Accomplished

and this is what worked for me.

The day I put up the last post on help needed I started working on him. I told him once the set of diapers finished, we didn’t have any more and they stopped selling it in the shops too coz he is a big boy now and they didn’t make it anymore.  I have done this before, but hasn’t worked. Somehow this time around he was sort of buying that and I kept at it. So each day he would ask me – ‘Amma how many are left’ and the countdown began. There were about 15 left and I gave myself 10 days. So, each day he’d tell himself – only x left and he’d repeat my dialogue – no more diaper for cheeky coz he is a big boy!

I had mentally prepared myself for the past weekend as the ultimate deadline.  Last Friday while cheeky was home patti convinced him that the diapers were over and he had to do the big job in the potty. She said he literally brought the roof down with his crying, but gave in finally.  I got home in the evening and heard the news.  Was elated. I quickly hid the 6 plus diapers so he didn’t find them and ask for them again. My idea did work and slowly preparing his little mind towards the set goal helped. Patti saved me by not letting me hear that cry. Would have totally broken my heart! Didn’t want to continue for the night alone either so the last 3 nights I have been sleeping with him and take him to pee if needed. The last 3 nights we’ve had no accidents (anti-jinx).

So, hurray and completely out of diaper’s. Out of day time diapers @ 22 months and night time diapers @ 34 months . Fully PT’d and mission accomplished. He is happy and so are we ! Thanks guys for all the ideas.

 

Fascinator that won $50

 Event: Melbourne Cup

Purpose: Hat Competition

Creative head: Sole’s manager

Materials used: Fruit basket net, some old red feathers, a red bow, some white flowers made with tissue paper, couple of white plastic flowers, staples, sticky tape

Time taken: 15 min

My job: Was to put it together, wear it, sit pretty and take photos all day until we were judged.

 Although I didn’t win any of the sweeps and had no luck with the horses it was a great day filled with cheer and anticipation. Was only fair that we split the prize since she was the creative head and I was just the able assistant! All in all a fun day!

 

A simple connection

As any parent would – I have been working towards inculcating the importance of reading to my kids. I haven’t been a voracious reader myself, so there is an added urge in me to make my kids read a fair bit. With parenting there is this vision to always try and overcome your shortcomings through your children. Not sure if it is a good thing, but it is fairly common I think. As early as 6-7 months I introduced Cheeky to books, for whatever it might have been worth that early. When he was as little as 8 months I started reading the ABC books with words and other little picture books. Kids as we all know are fairly good at absorbing everything. Every time I pointed to a new image and said the word, he’d pick it up! By the time he was between 12-16 months he had picked up almost all the words in the books, which was a fair bit and also fairly complicated ones. He could either say the words if I prompted A for .., point to them when asked for or show the associated actions for all of the words in the book. By the time he was 18 months he was talking fairly well and could communicate most of what he wanted to convey. His vocabulary as an 18 month old was fairly high. When he was about 22 months we went to India and that helped him heaps in terms of language and social skills. We were only speaking tamil to him and his vocabulary in tamil multiplied ten folds.

By the time we came back he was 2 and was ready to start childcare. I made a list of words he’d say for the essentials in tamil and wrote the English equivalent so the carers would understand him. He took a month to adjust to the childcare, the new routine, the new people, the new discipline he wasn’t used to and of course the new food he was being introduced to. He was used to the basic parupu satham/ rasam satham, kootu curry routine at home for lunch. He did pretty well. 2 months after he started probably around March/April he understood most things his carers said in English and he figured we spoke different languages. So, he started communicating to them in English. His vocabulary in English also increased. He was starting to communicate almost 4-5 word sentences in English by April. In June they had a half yearly assessment at his centre and he was graded high in all areas including completely understanding and communicating in English. The carers said he only spoke English and they had absolutely no trouble in understanding him and vice versa. They said he clearly knows when to ask for help. Have totally digressed, anyway, where was I?

Yes, importance of reading – as the little one started demanding some attention my ‘reading time’ with cheeky started decreasing. The little one was too distracted to sit in one place; a live wire that she is can’t sit still for even a minute. That wasn’t helping me coz cheeky gets distracted by the blink of an eye and having the little one around us did no good. I was running out of good books at home and the closest library wasn’t close to home, at least a 15 min drive, so hardly managed time to head there to bring books. I wasn’t happy about the situation, but wasn’t doing anything about it either. Thankfully a new library opened within a 2 min drive from our place a couple of months ago. Right from the day it opened I have been making regular trips and stocking different books. I’ll pick up board books, touch and feel ones for smiley and regular picture books for cheeky.

While on the topic of books and kids, please check out Saffron Tree, the pioneers there are celebrating CROCUS 2009 Celebration of Reading Other Culturally Unique Stories. They’ve done a brilliant job of  reviewing some amazing books from all the continents and I’ve already bookmarked some for the future. I am sure most of you would have already checked it out, but for the few who might not have, I’ve done my bit by letting you know !

Now what brought about this post – a couple of weeks ago I brought ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ by Eric Carle. Absolutely lovely book, colourful, vibrant, shows kids little concepts they can grasp easily – days of the weeks, numbers 1-5, fruits, introduction to various kinds of food, concept of opposites big/small etc, colours and also concept of growth an egg becomes a caterpillar and then a butterfly. We have been reading it every day for the last 2 weeks. Couple of days ago we sat to read the book as always and cheeky was beaming. He was visibly excited, a different behaviour than what we’ve seen in the past during our reading sessions.

 Cheeky : Amma they showed the caterpillar story in school.

Amma: Really? (I wasn’t too sure if he was saying the right thing, did they read it, enact it, was it part of an ABC program that they let the kids watch for few minutes every day.) What did you see cheeky?

Cheeky: Amma they put it on the TV from a CD and the caterpillar became a big fat caterpillar and then a beautiful butterfly.

Amma: Wow, that’s really nice cheeky. Was it good? Did you enjoy it?

Cheeky: Yes amma, it was nice! 

I was still not convinced or should probably say in the  ‘too good to believe’ state. I rang the school the following day and asked them if they really did play it and if they did what did they play. I learnt that they had a series of Eric Carle’s story collection in a DVD. I was pretty impressed. I asked the carer, did cheeky react at all when he saw it, she said he was pretty excited…he jumped saying caterpillar, hungry caterpillar and she said he was saying what he ate each day etc.

There is a sense of satisfaction when you feel rewarded for what you’ve done. This was a sure example and a simple reward for me. We learn something at home and the sense of happiness that is accompanied when you recognize the same stuff elsewhere, I could envision cheeky’s excitement. Simple pleasures our kids’ give us, makes it all so worth it, doesn’t it?

 

Help needed

Cheeky is 34 months now. He is partly potty trained and has been for a year now. We stopped using diapers through the day when he was between 21-22 months and he has been doing perfectly fine. Hardly any accidents in the last one year. Now, when I say partly I mean he knows when he wants to pee, he either lets us know or runs to the toilet himself these days and does his own thing. Tears exactly 1 sheet of toilet paper at the perforation, uses it and flushes. Absolutely perfect! That part wasn’t hard. I started when I took him to India last year and it was simple and straight forward!

Now with tutu (yes, that’s the name coined by the 1st grandchild in the family, so it has been around for 19 years now) this is what he does – says he wants to go tutu, runs to the bathroom or his room, gets a diaper and says diaper podu tutu varathu (put on my diaper I need to go tutu). We have been trying to get him out of it the last 10 months, I did have some luck while in India, but completely lost it after we returned from our holiday! There is no way we can get him to sit in the potty to do the big job. Nothing works, comparing other older kids, adults, saying there are no more diapers (he brings his little sisters and says put that on), forcibly putting him on the pot, incentives, stickers, treats – nada, absolutely nothing!

Any tips, suggestions, ideas that could help me in our mission to get him completely trained would be welcomed! I’d like him completely trained before he turns 3 at least. Will also help me with my little girl of 15 months when I start training her! Also how different is it for a boy vs a girl? A bit of a strange request I know, but I know I might get some guidance for sure from you guys who’ve been there already!

 

Guiding Angels

We are 3 girls in our family and as per norm with most Indian girls, our parents got us married and they are now left alone back home. 3 girls live in 2 different continents miles and miles away from home. Our parents try and spend some time with us on and off, mostly to help us when in need. Mum does not feel comfortable living with us unless she can convince herself that she is being useful to us. No amount of persuasion will make her change her idea. Considering that the last 15 years they’ve spent more time at our homes than their own home shows how much they’ve sacrificed and supported us with our kids and family. Brimming with guilt that we’ve left our parents alone at this stage in life, we girls constantly try and convince them that they should be with us and they should migrate to our part of the world rather than stay alone there. We’ve never managed to sell the idea though. Deep within we know very well that their heart is there and they are the most comfortable in their den. Amma being a social butterfly that she is, thrives the best in her home and dad has his spark back the minute he lands in his country. He cherishes his daily cuppa – steaming filter coffee prepared by amma and his daily dose of morning “The Hindu”.  He loves visiting his friends and sharing nostalgic moments with them every week from his school and college days. There truly is something about the motherland which makes it special and gives the warm fuzzy feeling deep within. As much as they love spending time with their girls and grandkids when they are away, their heart for sure yearns for their country while here.

A couple of months back my parents left our home. As always they went for their routine health check after they returned. My mum visited an eye surgeon as well in addition because her eye was giving her lot of trouble lately. She got her eyes checked out and found out that she had severe cataract in both eyes and the doctor wanted her to get them operated as soon as possible. The lady that she has always been, forever puts other people’s need in front of her own and hence got her surgery delayed by over 2 weeks.

The one thing that we’ve always tried to pitch in front of them while trying to encourage them to move base is – “ you are getting old, what if something happens to your health, if you are with us, we’ll be here to take care of you, but in India you’d be left alone.” That point was never an issue for them though. They always took pride in their support system – their siblings and friends. They always maintained that they will have full support from their family and friends there and will never be left alone. So, we’d never have to worry about that. Not even our biggest selling point was a winner to convince them.

 The surgery was scheduled for today and I have been constantly thinking about them since morning. In anxiety I miscalculated the time and rang her at 3.30 am thinking it was 5.30am the time she was scheduled to leave home. I spoke to her briefly and hung up saying I’ll call back. I rang home and her cell about 5 times later but no answer and I panicked. I finally got through to my dad and he said she was getting operated that very instant. I wondered how my dad would be coping alone and much to my solace he told me – “I have your two mama’s (mum’s brother’s), k. anna and b. acca (mum’s sister’s kid’s) with me at this very moment and amma is inside getting operated.” That was enough to warm my heart up and bring tears to my eyes. What they have maintained and said all along is indeed very true and this is just a true testimony of their belief. God bless those souls and hope every one of us is blessed with such guiding angels when needed.

 

Nostalgia

Last Diwali smiley was less than 3 months old and all of us except OK were in India at my parent’s place. I was paranoid about the noise and wondered how she’d sleep through it, but I wanted cheeky to enjoy it the right way! It was my 1st Diwali with both the kids. I had a lovely time at my parent’s. My friend H made it a very special Diwali for cheeky by gifting him with lots of crackers just the kind he’d love being a baby under 2 and burst every single one with him! I was delighted that cheeky got to experience the true essence of Diwali and that experience is etched very deep. He knows and still asks for “patasu”all the time. He says l patti vangi tharuva (grandma will buy it for him )! Kids his age here, have no idea what it is like to celebrate this festival because they’ve never seen it like they should have. I feel for them, but I am grateful and thankful that I had a chance to show him what it really should be like!

This Diwali we are not there, but I still managed some sparklers for the kids and they’ve been doing them on and off! Smiley has been enjoying them too. I bought over 150 sparklers for them this year.  We have few friends and their kids coming over to celebrate Diwali with us tomorrow. The kids are sure going to have some fun with their cousins and friends! Diwali this year will be almost like in India for us – family, friends, celebartion, sparklers, new clothes, good food and lots of sweets (would have been perfect if my other sister and parent’s had been around too), but kya karen, such is life – never perfect! Things that will be different – no vedi’s or atom bombs/500/1000 wala,  something I am happy about and am thankful there would be no noise pollution one thing I detest completely!

Most festivals outside India are usually nothing special and end up being just another work day, but this year since Diwali falls on a Saturday the excitement is around everywhere. For us the celebration starts tonight – dinner @ sister’s place, followed by them coming over for lunch @ home, then friends coming over for tea and then dinner/b’day party @ another friend’s! So, we for sure will have an eventful weekend! Hope you guys do too !

Leaving you with some pictures from last Diwali where cheeky had a ball !

Tired finally !

 

Dussehra + Diwali = ?

Gluttony! 

and yes it is lethal. The eating that began a month ago hasn’t stopped yet! All through dussehra it was a new sundal and sweet every day at home, multiplied by eating the sundal’s and sweet’s of people we visit for vethala pakku as well! Most houses these days, doesn’t just restrict to sundal/sweet, it is more like lunch or dinner and each one try’s to out do the other. So, there, it is multiple meals consumed in one day. 

The main focus in most of our festivities have a common theme – food! Yes and the two festivals being close to one another is a deadly combination. The timing of these two couldn’t be any better worse! A month after Dussehra is Diwali! By the time Dussehra ends it is time to start celebrating Diwali, so the poor gut is totally over worked! 

Dussehra celebration ended on the 29^th of September. There was a break for a week but we had two b’day parties that weekend. So, no break from indulging in rich food! 10^th Oct, we had our 1^st Diwali party. Party equates to food, food and more of it. When food is placed in front of you and you have nothing better to do, it is really hard to resist! Plus if the party continues until 2.00 am one is constantly looking for things to stuff their face with, to keep them awake! Oct 13^th we celebrated Diwali @ work with a lunch. Apart from the starters and main there were about 5 varieties of sweets. When you see those sweets starring at you, even though I am not a sweet lover, I tend to attack them and gobble them up. Why do I do it? Have no answer. I have just been abusing my stomach no end! The parties haven’t ended. I have two more to go, one on the 16^th and another one on the 17^th. In the midst of honouring all the invitations, we end up making delicacies at home as well. Like all the food consumed outside isn’t enough, there is guilt if we don’t prepare goodies at home, the excuse being – “If we don’t make anything, how would we learn and if we don’t learn, how would our kids learn …right…valid point…right?” So there – more sweets! Last Sunday in my attempt to learn new recipes, I made badusha – I was pretty happy with how it turned out, considering it is not an easy sweet to attempt and get it right the 1st time! Grandma made rava (sooji) urundai as well. Like that isn’t enough, we’ve also ordered mysore pauk and wheat halwa from outside. Why, I don’t know? I’ve mentioned just the sweets, savouries include, mixture, murukku, thengozhal etc. Now, it doesn’t stop with just ordering the food in, because we’ve spent the money, we can’t throw it in the bin even if we don’t feel like eating it, so it ends up…where…take a guess……mmm…you got it right…our very own stomach…like we’d even think about any other option! Is there ever an end to unhealthy food and does the system ever say – that’s enough?  To add to what’s already in abundance, the b’day cakes for colleagues @ work seem to happen ever so often. So, every time I tell myself, today is the last day I am pigging out, there seems to be a b’day the next day and it just doesn’t stop! It constantly feels like the world vs me battle. 

Someone told me the other day @ the Diwali party, when I was going halves with one of the sweet’s; “don’t worry, eat whatever you want, it only shows after 26 days. You can worry about the weight later!” We’ll still need to battle it right @ the end of 26 days or whenever if that’s even remotely true! 

Right now @ home I have kaju kathli, rava urundai, wheat halwa, mysore pauk, badusha, rasagolla, murukku, thengozhal and mixture.  I have a mil who says “eat, if you don’t eat now, when will you? Eating one sweet is not going to make a huge difference (but eating 1 sweet for 5 days will). Ithu than sapadara vayasu (it is the age to gobble up) “.  I have a husband who to make me feel better says “I just ate 4 kaju kathli’s, 2 rasagolla’s , 1 rava urundai, some thengozhal. Now I am sure I made you feel better.” Now you tell me – am I to be blamed in this household?

All the effort I put towards getting some pounds down during this , has gone down the drain. Exercising seems to be the last in the list of priorities right now. Why should I make the effort, I am eating crap anyway, is the attitude! And you know what annoys me the most? Those people who exist in this world who have a high rate of metabolism and burn up every single gm they eat and have no ounce of fat on them. There are people who eat 5 X as much as I do and have absolutely zero fat on them. They truly make me jealous and I hate that some people have it so easy !

 

palkova – surprise multiplied

Previous here .

Appa smiled. Amma quickly changed the topic, “nice surprise Ravi, appa knew about your arrival didn’t he”? Appa and Ravi winked; there was more surprise to follow. Dad had planned a trip for the family to celebrate mum’s 60^th at Tanjore temple – amma’s favourite shrine. 

Anjali was nervous, already waiting there, to be introduced!

 

Bigga Longa* boy

Our ensuite does not have a lock and we have an open door policy for the kids (both are under 3 )..they walk in and out as and when they feel like, no restrictions. It has been alright so far..is it time for a change now? I knew this was coming sometime, but already???

Cheeky : “amma nee enna mathiri bigga longa agum bodhu onnakum enna mathiri pillaku** vayum okay. Neeyum enna mathiyi ninundu issi polam..payava illa.” (When you become as big/old as me you will also grow pillaku. You can stand and pee like me, it’s okay, you can’t do it now.hmm…)

Had to educate him on the difference at some stage…so said ..

“no kanna, amma is aready bigga longa. Boys ku than pillaku varum…girls ku varathu (No kanna, amma is already old enough, only boys grow it, girls don’t).”

To confirm that he’s got the point, he tells me every day after his shower ” amma girls ku pillake vayathu…boys ku than vayum..thatha ku vayum, appa ku vayum, smiley ku vayathu, amma ku vayathu, pati ku vayathu. (girls don’t grow it, only boys do..granddad, dad and cheeky have it, smiley, mum and grandma don’t have it).” I’ve heard this 3 days in a row now (wonder how much longer)!

My teeny little baby is growing up too quickly!! I am not ready yet !  Why can’t he be a baby forever???

 

*the term he coined for anything big and long according to him, if he wanted more/lots of anything, grown up, old, when he was 18 months old…”bigga longa venum” , (I want more), bigga longa aaganum (want to grow up)

** the word coined by the 1st grandchild in the family for the male thingimi

 

Navratri 2009 – Our first golu

After contemplating a whole lot, decided to start the tradition of keeping golu this year. Have been collecting little dolls over the years and last year after I had smiley I was positive that I would do it sooner than later. This year I was a bit apprehensive because I knew we would be on our own (without any grandparents, they were scheduled to arrive half way through navratri) and would need all the help to pull it off.  I was worried the little ones would give me a really hard time to keep things in place with them constantly requiring some monitoring. Anything is possible with a little bit of planning and help, so I sought some help, something we rarely do! Navratri started on 19^th September (a Friday), which meant the dolls needed to be arranged on that day. I knew I would be working that day plus both kids would be home, so practically nothing would have been possible during the day. Keeping this in mind the preparations started a week ahead. The previous weekend we requested our good friends VJ and JK to assist with building the padi’s. VJ with her experience over the years helping her mum and putting together similar padi’s in her house was the most experienced! Was such a fun night, ordered pizza’s and waited for the kids to fall asleep and then started on with the task ahead. It was so much fun and I am sure the memories will last a lifetime for all of us. So, that was one task done, the next was to cover the padi’s and my friend S graciously volunteered to help and she came over on Sunday. We all had lunch together and started the next task. Was extremely satisfied with the end result. It came together really well. Now with the 2 big jobs out of the way, the third was so arrange the dolls and I got my sister’s help for that. They came over Friday night around 9.30pm and set up all the dolls and we were nearly done. Just had few bits and pieces left, arranging the village set (I bought all of these channapatna dolls during my visit to Mysore in 2005), rangoli (my mil bought the pattern for me a few years ago)etc. The following Sunday my friend S and I did the rangoli together and OK completed the village set up! Didn’t seem that hard and the kids were amazingly good. I had explained to cheeky about navratri and golu and he seemed very keen. Saturday morning when he came down, his first statement was “Amma ummachi ellam vanthuta namma athuku” (the God’s have come home  )! Smiley didn’t seem to be bothered, all that she cares about right now is climbing up the stairs and going to the play room! She does not stay downstairs for a second if left alone! They were really good and gave me no trouble. Cheeky did a great job of learning the names of all the God’s we had on there and he also made sure we did namaskaram every morning! Since we used few of his animals for the village set, he was really excited and was happy to show them off to everyone!

 I had about 10 houses to visit for vethala pakku and that was the hardest part, juggling the kids’ routine and other work that needed to be done and stepping out. I tried to take cheeky and smiley along to most houses. I figured they really enjoyed it and what other better opportunity to dress them up in all their niceties and enrich their knowledge of our culture (although the little one is too little for it). It was just cute to lug her along for the fun of it! 

I had a few people over that Sunday (21st), made carrot halwa and black eyed peas sundal. Both came out really well! Sunday 27^th September is when I had more people over. Nearly 50 people came over for vethala pakku (haldi kumkum) . We made carrot/badam kheer, a milk burfi, aval kesari, brown chickpea sundal and mini vadai. People started arriving at 4.00pm, we chanted the lalitha sahasarnamam once and the initial group left but we continued to have people coming in until 9.30 pm. It was a lovely day and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The kids had fun, were very well behaved and they loved having so many people over! Smiley played so much that she slept at 6.00 pm and only woke up at 5.00 am the next morning!  

The dolls have all be packed and put away! Our living room looks really empty now after being so colourful for 10 days. I had such a good time that I can’t wait for the next navratri already!

Do any of you have your stories and pictures to share? Did you have any interesting themes? Please do share.